at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
