That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
