I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
