Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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