lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He shit in the fireplace
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
