I'm lost and stupid without you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i now understand why vodka
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
