I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
