Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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