Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
