Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
