You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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