K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
