I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize