Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
