just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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