Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
