Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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