ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
