Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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