ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
