dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You made out with two different species that night
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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