My nipple is on Facebook.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
