We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
