I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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