we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Please don't give away my fajitas
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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