do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
