dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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