I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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