At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
