where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
