His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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