Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
