at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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