STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
