how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
