he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
