smell my finger.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
