I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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