her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
