You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
