His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
