I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
