the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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