tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
