The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
