Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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