So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
