I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
