This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
