I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
