TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Boobs speak an international language.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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