So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
