The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
