Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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