that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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